Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I think I just sharted jello shots
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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