lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
