remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
this boner is exhausting
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
