just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
