I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
