just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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