I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The beer is more important than you right now.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize
