you guys were way drunker than both of me
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
