Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
