How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
