what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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