That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
