Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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