Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
