how can u be prego again
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
