Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
