He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
