He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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