So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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