you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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