i permit you to call me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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