we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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