Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
