I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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