it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
