They should really pass out barf bags in church
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
