i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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