Pappa wants mamma naked
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
