hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
