what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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