You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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