I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
