I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
