Only a mothe r could love this liver
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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