There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
