bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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