Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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