I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
