Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
