her vagine was all disorganized.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
