when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
