I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
