On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My bed smells like the plague
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
