I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
