How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
