everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
