I forgot how hot balto sounded
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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