Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
