Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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