Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
