Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
